This is something I’ve encountered on several occasions: I try to PM a long-standing contact and find I can’t as according to my pod they are not sharing with me. I ask them, they say they have me in one or most aspects. The only way to solve it is for them to remove me from all aspects and add me again.
Is this a bug for which there is likely to be a software solution? Or just something that is inevitable in a distributed network and which can’t be fixed? It’s possible it happens occasionally when a pod is off-line (e.g. for a software update) and can’t be avoided.
It happened just a couple of days ago, with someone who is a podmin, so if it’ll be useful I’ll ask him to check logs and see if he can find out where and how this happened.
This was a local problem and I have no idea how it could happen, I wasn’t able to reproduce it.
But what you’re talking about the federation, contact messages are now (since 0.7.3.0) retried more often, for almost two weeks instead of 16 hours, so a pod can be offline much longer and the contact info should still be OK.