My comments were never just about diaspora, so looking at diaspora internals and what happens to block what has little value or relevance, for me at least. I think the design should suit any server implementation that happens to implement the diaspora protocol, not just one made with RoR with the components Diaspora has chosen. I encourage the diaspora team to also think through the protocol, not through the server software. Still, it is possible the analysis by Dennis still stands, I have no wish to contest that any further.
The technical solution for the future is clear with these comments. I will close the respective diaspora and friendica issues to send interactions to the relay. I will remove reaction forwarding from the relay once diaspora starts to auto-subscribe to all incoming posts. Hope that happens soon, the current situation is not ideal.